South London, UK: After the release of the latest UK advertisement for the winter flu + COVID-19 booster, the UK Health Security Agency released a public notice advising of possible delays in gift deliveries this Christmas.
“Due to climate change the capacity of Santas covering the South London area this holiday season is likely to be deminished,” the report said.
Of the 8 South London Santas identified in the UKHSA advertisement, 3 are in a critical condition at St George’s Hospital with cardiac issues and there are unconfirmed reports that a 4th Santa has died suddenly shortly after the filming. UKHSA have confirmed that all Santas were vaccinated as part of the production and therefore could not possibly have suffered from the flu or COVID-19.
Two other Santas have reportedly suffered from an unknown neurological condition that doctors have no idea about, but have suggested it could be related to the weather and the white fragility of the patients.
The UKHSA has not released any futher details about the Santas but does encourage everyone to do the right thing and get boosted this holiday season.
In other news, North Pole Transport and Logistics (NPTL) are looking for large elderly white males, with flying experience, for flexible holiday work – Priority will be given to unvaccinated applicants.