REEF POINT, ANTIPODES ISLAND: Outrage at the University of the Antipodes Islands this week when Prof. Hindenberger prevented a student from taking a third year medical exam. The student, Felicity Von Rachhousen, a second year music major studying the bassoon, was excluded from the end of year medical exam on the basis of her enrolment. “It is unbelievable that this sort of discrimination is still going on in such a place as UAI,” says Martha Montgomery who had little to do with the incident.

Prof. Hindenberger allegedly ousted Rachhousen saying that she was a music student and not a medical student and therefore could not sit the exam. Rachhousen, it has been reported, said on a number of occasions that she now “felt like a medical student and not a music student.” Student services office Kelly Clonk told The Confounding Variable that feelings are more important than superficial enrolment details and if Rachhousen felt like she was a medical student then she should be treated that way.

UAI ethical committees are meeting this week to determine the fate of Prof. Hindenberger and to organise a special honorary medical degree to Rachhousen for suffering such terrible discrimination by someone who should have known better.