Author: The Associate

New Therapy For Walking on Eggshells

MARE CRISIUM, MOON—A new therapy for couples having to walk on eggshells offers renewed hope.   This has been the central theme most often brought up in therapy—”The tension in the house is like walking on eggshells,” “I feel that I’m walking on eggshells all the time!”—and the focal point of a new study from the Edinburgh of the Seven Seas University (ESSU) psychology department. “Here at Tristan da Cunha we have 29 couples who are trying to walk on eggshells—that’s 10% of the population. This is a real problem and there needs to be a radically new approach to create transformative...

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Distance to Mars May Pose A Problem For New Probe

MIAMI, FL—A recent Mars expedition by the 45 billion-dollar probe SpaceZ has run into a technical problem due to a miscalculation of distance between the Earth and Mars. “When we started the project we didn’t anticipate such a large distance between the earth and Mars,” said chief project manager Rob Crusoe. “We spent weeks watching movies like The Martian, The Last Days on Mars, John Carter, and even the recent National Geographic film, and made lots of notes, and we even had a large blackboard with sophisticated calculations all over it,” said Crusoe in a late-night interview with the...

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About Us

Our Beginnings Entrepreneur Con Confudere, of Italian and Icelandic descent, had a dream to be a great writer. In 1868, after migrating from Rome to Tuvalu in search of power and wealth, became disillusioned by the growing disciplined precision of scientific reporting in the science column of the Tuvalu Herald. Thus began his pursuit for fame and fortune with total disregard for the truth and ethical standards of the day. The Confounding Variable newspaper was born in such humble circumstances that Confudere had considerable difficulty selling a single copy in Tuvalu, likely due to the fact that it was...

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