Month: December 2016

Claims Of First Person On Mars Under Scrutiny

NEW YORK, NY—Private venture firm We Beat Musk To Mars inc. was under fire last week when they released images they claimed was the first person to step foot on Mars. “We were simply outraged at the sceptical response from the scientific community and the lack of support from the media when we released our first images,” said CEO Igor Petruskana in an exclusive interview with The Confounding Variable. “Our venture has done the impossible by landing our first astronaut on Mars years ahead of the competition and we were met with utter disbelief. It’s unbelievable!” To substantiate their claim...

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Scientists Discover The Last “Missing Link”

MACQUARIE ISLAND, AUSTRALIA—Scientists on remote Macquarie Island have discovered the so-called “missing link” that bridges the evolutionary gap between humans and other higher primates. In an unprecedented find, the team of researchers, led by Prof. Frances Feinderfossel of the University of Hobart, unearthed what has long been regarded as the Holy Grail of evolutionary biology while digging a makeshift toilet on the south of the island. “It was remarkable,” said Prof. Feinderfossel in one of several exlusive interviews on Tasmanian talk shows seen by The Counfounding Variable. One of the grad students popped off to deal with a number...

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Artificial Intelligence Surpasses Male Response

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA—Artificial intelligence lab The Big Prefrontal has had a major breakthrough in AI this week. After defeating the world champions in chess and go, the final frontier in AI domination is answering the age-old question, “So where have you been?” For generations, males coming home late from work after a quick drink with the boys have been stumped by this seemingly simple question that greets them as they stumble through the front door. Unable to recall recent chronological, spacial and autobiographical information, the male worker is at a loss as to how to answer and often resorts to...

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Weather

Cayman Palms, Cayman Islands
May 28, 2017, 1:35 pm
Partly sunny
Partly sunny
30°C
real feel: 38°C
humidity: 65%
 

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