NEW YORK, NY—Private venture firm We Beat Musk To Mars inc. was under fire last week when they released images they claimed was the first person to step foot on Mars. “We were simply outraged at the sceptical response from the scientific community and the lack of support from the media when we released our first images,” said CEO Igor Petruskana in an exclusive interview with The Confounding Variable. “Our venture has done the impossible by landing our first astronaut on Mars years ahead of the competition and we were met with utter disbelief. It’s unbelievable!”
To substantiate their claim the company had their astronaut, a woman simply known as K307S8 (with reliable sources suggesting that she is the daughter of The Stig), to pose for the same photograph as the one released last week, but this time without her helmet on so as to validate her presence on the red planet. Due to the time delay between Earth and Mars the photo shoot took a little longer than she could hold her breath and the company admits that they have lost contact with the astronaut. Nevertheless, We Beat Musk To Mars inc. claim absolute victory in the race to Mars and are now offering development lots for aspiring entrepreneurs.
Controversy around the newly released photo of K307S8 continues as experts study the authenticity of the image. There is growing consensus that this image and the claims of We Beat Musk To Mars inc. may well be fraudulent, but a spokesman from NASA said that “it’s too early to make any such conclusions.”